The AIDS Blog

2007-03-03T00:01:00.000-06:00

in addition, i now consistently go to the gym and to yoga classes 3-5 times a week. seriously, what happened to me? i am ashamed.

2007-02-22T09:19:00.000-06:00

Breakfast:
2 eggs, fried
1 piece of bacon
1 pepsi zero

lunch:
1 diet coke
1 grilled cheese sandwich

Dinner:
1 cup of rice
3 oz of chicken
spicy sauce
water

2007-02-20T23:38:00.000-06:00

i don't think i can participate on this blog anymore. at least not until i stop eating so much organic food.

2007-02-20T08:29:00.000-06:00

Breakfast
2 cookies (50 calories)
1 pepsi (250 calories)

Lunch:
1/2 a Buttrfinger (135 calories)

Dinner:
1 spicy chicken sandwich (480calories)
1 large coke (300 Calories)

Misc:
2 cokes (clubs) (250, total)

LA Diet

2007-02-19T09:27:00.000-06:00

Breakfast:
1/2 Cinnamon melt
1 Large Coke
1 Egg McMuffin
1 hash brown

Lunch:
3 cookies
1 piece of shortbread
4 crackers + cheese spread
1 package of sun chips
1 cup of ginger ale

Dinner:
1 cup coke
5 McVitties
1 small cup of spaghetti

SORE LOSERS

2007-02-18T13:10:00.000-06:00

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE STILL TRYING? I'VE CLEARLY FUCKING WON. I CAN TRANSFER MY AIDS BY MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH PEOPLE.

2007-02-15T07:28:00.000-06:00

yesterday I really fell off the wagon, but I was depressed, alright?:

breakfast:
(1) large Dunkin Donuts coffee
(1) donut, glazed
(1) donut, old-fashioned

lunch:
(10) chicken McNuggets
(1) large Mcdonald's french fries
(1) large grape soda

supper:
(3) slices, stuffed pizza (pepperoni, canadian bacon, mushroom)
(2) cans, Guinness (16 oz.)
(3) bottles, Great Lakes irish ale (12 oz.)
(2) cans, Miller High Life (12 oz.)

misc:
(1) bottle, Pepsi (20 oz.)

back in black...

2007-02-13T22:45:00.000-06:00

breakfast:
(1) bottle, Pepsi, 20 oz.

lunch:
(3) McDonald's cheeseburgers
(1) large McDonald's French Fries
(1) bottle, Cherry Pepsi, 20 oz.

supper:
(2) McDonald's cheeseburgers
(5) cans, Miller High Life

My new york diet

2007-02-12T10:58:00.000-06:00

Now that i'm out of dallas, i'm less ashamed to write what I eat. It's still terrible, but much less full of canola oil.

Breakfast:
1 cup of grape juice
1 coke zero
6 pieces of ham (200 calories)

Lunch:
1 pepsi (250 calories)
1 bag of sour cream and cheese chips (200 calories)

Dinner:
Spaghetti and meatballs (chef boyardee) (200 calories)
1 pepsi (250 calories)

=1150 calories

I WIN. I FUCKING WIN.

2007-02-05T11:26:00.000-06:00

If the images don't load, wait 10 minutes then try again.

Yes, this blog is dead. But I have decided that I, M. Wesley Esq., have to say one more thing.

I FUCKING WIN.

This is Salo:

It's a traditional Ukrainian dish.

What is Salo? SLICED NON-RENDERED PIGS FAT. Pure pig fat, cured and sliced. You kill the pig, you cut the fat out, you cure it in SALT for awhile, then you fucking eat it.

DELICIOUS

I FUCKING WIN.

I FUCKING SUPER WIN BECAUSE...

I DID IT AGAIN. That's a fucking plate load of Salo. The things that look like sandwiches are just different kinds of bread in layers. And that gooey ice-cream scoop sized thing in the middle? Why, that's Salo run through a sausage grinder to make it spreadable like butter. I can't remember the Ukrainian word for it, but it's usually translated into English as 'grease'. Yes, the shit you dump out of the pan after cooking bacon (or the stuff you cook the eggs in, if you're not a fag). It's also a movie starring John Travolta and Oliva Newton-John, but this is a really easy fag joke.

I'm still waiting for my throbbing erection to subside.

2006-08-27T21:58:00.000-05:00

we must revive the AIDS blog. come on guys. cant you try a little harder to ruin the only body you have?

2006-08-15T20:23:00.000-05:00

Wesley, when are we going out on a date?

obviously you all have better things to do than to surf the net all day and blog about your eating habits.

i for one, do not.

today:

(2) cups of Assam tea
(2) chocolate chip cookies
(1) vanilla muffin with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles
(1) slice cheese pizza
(2) half-hearted sips of orange juice
(2) oatmeal raisin cookies
(2) pieces of saltwater taffy of mysterious flavors
(1) bowl of french vanilla ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.
(1) bowl white rice with yogurt and spices
(some) water.

goood day.

2006-08-05T09:39:00.000-05:00

does anyone else consume disturbingly vast quantities of chocolate everyday? ugh i feel sick.

2006-08-01T17:28:00.000-05:00

i got various illnesses over the duration of my travels through India. now that i am back in the United States i am going to go on a health kick. i think i quit smoking: as of Thursday, i won't have had a cigarette for 4 weeks. but i am not going to call the attempt to quit a success until ive made it to at least two months.

yikes. sorry guys.

2006-07-31T14:06:00.000-05:00

I've moved off the corn dogs and embraced cheeseburgers with only onions and cheese. This is, if anything, a step down from corndogs, and I am becoming depressed when I think of the mound of disgusting food I am eating.

Gosh, I'm disgusting

2006-07-14T17:01:00.000-05:00

my investment in the AIDS lifestyle has gone way downhill. I've pretty solidly quit smoking. (I had two last friday, and three the thursday before that, but otherwise, not a single cig in the past three weeks.) Also, I've barely been drinking. I had a couple of martinis last night, but before that, I hadn't had a drink since the previous friday. So I'm down to about one day of drunkeness per seven day period -- a huge deviation from the recent past, where that ratio was more like 5/7. Then on the eating front, I've been really good about cooking at my new place because a) I live next door to a fresh produce market (the one you can see from 90/94) and b) my new kitchen is nicely ventilated, so I don't stink everything up everytime I try to cook. This means that I've been eating vegetables, fish filets and other healthful things that taste good when grilled up on the ol' foreman. In sum, my AIDS is somewhat in remission right now. (though I did have mcnuggets for lunch today. they were delicious. still my favorite kind of aids.)

2006-07-13T17:28:00.000-05:00

look, what do you want from me? I'm becoming so ashamed

today: 3 chocolate chip cookies
64oz pepsi
one corn dog
8 potstickers

reading this blog makes me realize I'm a slob and don't deserve to be loved. I told my sister's 12-year-old friend about what i ate in a week and she said, "wow, you eat just like a little kid!" and it's true. I'm an overgrown child. And I'm listening to justin timberlake right now

2006-07-10T15:46:00.000-05:00

Sunday:
2 rice crispie treats
3 brownies
one can of pepsi
one corn dog
8 pot stickers2 cans of pepsi

2006-07-09T22:07:00.000-05:00

i suppose by now i should have made the totally tasteless observation that i am in one of the best places on earth to get AIDS.

2006-07-09T00:30:00.000-05:00

Lunch:
(1) can, Chunky Soup-grilled pork loin and beans flavor
(1) grilled cheese sandwich

Supper:
spaghetti
(1/2) loaf, Pepperidge farms mozzarella cheese bread
salad w/italian dressing

Misc:
(5) cans, Ruby Red Squirt
(3) aspirin
(2) aleve

2006-07-07T14:08:00.000-05:00

I'm going to go jogging today. I need to get in better shape so I can enter the sport of competitive eating. I need to get rid of my gut so I have more room for my stomach to expand.

2 days ago:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew, 20 oz.
(1) Turkey and bacon Jimmy John's sandwich
(3) cans, Miller High Life beer

yesterday:
(1) bottle, Dr. Pepper, 20 oz.
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew, 20 oz.
(1) bag, Chex Mix
(1) Burger King triple stacker (totally disappointing)
large fries
large Dr. Pepper
(3) bottles, beer, assorted

today:
(1) bottle, Gatorade-32 oz.
(1) Chicken Chipotle Burrito
large Coke
(1) Italian sandwich from Jimmy John's
(2) glasses-Gatorade-20 oz.
(1) bottle, Lipton Iced Tea, Peach Flavor-16 oz.
almonds

2006-07-06T23:41:00.000-05:00

greetings from India. yesterday i battled my jetlag and so didnt eat much, as i was unconscious for most of my first day here.

breakfast part I (at 2am, after i arrived from the airport):

(1) bowl of yogurt with white rice and spicy mango pickle

breakfast part II (around 7am):

(2) cups tea with milk
(2) bowls of upma (rice flour, water, spices, peas, peppers, pickle...)

lunch:
(1) bowl rasam (the tamarind soup)
(1) cup tea

no dinner--i passed out and woke up at 3am the next morning. this sucks.

AND, i haven't had a cigarette in almost 48 hours. this is a record, people. it's been a long time since i went 24 hours without one. somehow i made it down from a pack a day. i guarantee i will be having seizures from withdrawal by the end of the week.

2006-07-06T22:31:00.000-05:00

Dude, I weighed myself a few minutes ago--and albeit, it was after 64oz of coke and in full clothing with chucks, but the scale read 190. I am so depressed I'm going to drown my sorrows in candy.

Breakfast:
1 corn dog
1 can pepsi

Snack:
20 oz coke

Lunch:
1 double cheeseburger (cheese and onions only)
1 32 oz coke
25 french fries

Dinner
64 oz of coke through various refills
12 cheese fries with bacon

Wednesday

2006-07-06T08:17:00.000-05:00

#1 from McDonalds with large coke, 2 hot dogs, 8 pot stickers, a large coke, 1 creme brulee, 1 can of pepsi.

See? I'm totally cutting back

No Updates for awhile

2006-07-06T00:27:00.000-05:00

I am learning to type with the Dvorak Simplified Keyboard Layout. I will not be blogging until my typing speed gets a little better. Expect about a month or so until I am 100% again. This entry took about ten minutes.

2006-07-05T01:27:00.000-05:00

this blog is a total slackfest. Today I had one of the most AIDStastic days in recent memory. I must've had like 5000 calories today.

Lunch:
(1) can, Campbell's Bean w/Bacon soup
garlic bread
(1) can, Miller High Life beer
(2) bottles, Red Hook beer

Supper:
(2) cheeseburgers
(1) hot dog
watermelon

Snack:
(1) Italian beef sandwich
french fries
(3) mozzarella sticks

Misc:
(9? 10?) bottles, beer-assorted
(2) glasses, Jim Beam whiskey

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I'm totally wasted.

2006-07-04T00:41:00.000-05:00

eating's not so bad.

Drinking is out of control. I need rehab or something. My liver's trying to claw its way out.

2006-07-01T01:28:00.000-05:00

pretty uninteresting. the highlight of tonight, and in fact the last two weeks, was that i went to a bar. one stupid bar. it was the one at the Middle East Club on Mass Ave. hipsters in Cambridge are really skanky, its amazing.

i need to get out of here ASAP.

breakfast:
(2) tea
(1) bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal with 1% milk
(3) episodes of Alias
(1) cigarette

lunch:
(1) small bowl of Palak Paneer (the spinach and cheese thing)

snack:
(1) chocolate

dinner:
(1) bowl of rasam (tamarind soup) with white rice
(1) cup yogurt with grated cucumber and random spices

misc:
(3) stuffed grape leaves
(1) cup cranberry juice
(1) bottle of CORONA BEER!!!

2006-06-30T02:11:00.000-05:00

Lunch:
1 piece of tomato onion and sausage pizza

Dinner:
2/3 of abox of tuna helper, prepared.

Other:
10ish cigarettes
I'm also probably going to eat another piece of pizza before I go to bed. We'll see.

THIS IS THE FIRST DAY IN A WEEK THAT I HAVEN'T SMOKED POT!!!!

Oh, and anyone who hasn't seen this needs to right now. Make sure to check out the artwork and "reverse trigger" sections. I fucking love shit like this. I hope whoever made this website never got to finish it because they died.

help, i'm disappearing.

2006-06-29T21:06:00.002-05:00

i'm at 120 lbs even with a disgustingly full stomach. what the fuck? have i actually managed to lose more weight since coming home, even though i swear to jesus that i am eating more than i can possibly fit into my body? i must:

a) be pregnant
b) have a tapeworm

today i ingested:

breakfast:
(2) cigarettes
(2) teas
(1) bowl Honey Bunches of Oats cereal with 1% milk (my mom switched to 1%)

soul food:
then i watched Season 2 of Alias on DVD for 4 consecutive hours, because i am of course really depressed about my breakup and i dont want to do anything but sit on the couch and think about whether or not i should call what's-his-name, while i watch beautiful people shoot each other/have sex.

lunch:
(1) cheese and veggie quesadilla, which i made, and which was totally gross.
(2) cigarettes

snack:
(1) chocolate-fudge-caramel brownie thingie from Starbucks
(5) Baci hazelnut-chocolates

dinner:
(2) slices of cheese pizza from Papa Gino's
(1) sip of my mom's totally gross diet Pepsi.

2006-06-29T08:07:00.000-05:00

yesterday:

lunch:
salad
spaghetti w/meat sauce
bread
tiramisu
(2) cups, Coke

snack:
(1/2) loaf, Pepperidge Farms mozzarella cheese bread
(1) can, Coke

supper:
spaghetti
(2) slices, bread w/butter
(1) can, Coke

misc:
(1) bottle, Newcastle beer
(1) bottle, Sierra Nevada beer
(1) can, Coke
(4) ibuprofen-generic

WTF

2006-06-29T04:16:00.000-05:00

How come I'm blogging twice in a row? I doubt everyone's commitment to AIDS. Fuckers.

Today:

Lunch:
1/2 PBJ
1 piece of bread with baba ghanojugushashhashdfshaius

Dinner:
Roomate's Grandma's Indian Leftovers Festival
Chicken Flavored Rice (Lots)
Mixed Veggies (Lots)
Some Pork Thing (not so much)
Some Chickpea Thing (lots)

Fun:
1 pint frozen yogurt
15ish cigarettes
1/4 gram marijuana

For the record, it SERIOUSLY disturbs me that I seem to be eating more vegetables than everyone else COMBINED. What is wrong with you people?

2006-06-28T13:52:00.000-05:00

Yesterday:

Lunch:
1 Kibby (some big middle eastern thing with meat and grains and shit)
1 small salad
Yogurt sauce

Dinner:
1 BBQ chicken "Super Burrito" - a burrito slightly smaller than chipotle-sized, with all the awesome crap that burritos have in them
A few tortilla chips with Salsa

Other:
1 Diet Coke
15ish Cigarettes
1/4 gram of Marijuana

Althought it really doesn't matter, since I vomited it all up when I heard Ashlee Simpson was going to pose for Playboy.
HAHA! YOU JUST VOMIT TOO!

I found out this morning that it isn't actually going to happen. Good think I've saved my vomit, now I am going to go eat it.

2006-06-28T00:40:00.000-05:00

Dear M. Wesley, Esq.:

Do you want to hang out in Boston sometime? We could go get AIDS together if you want. And by that, I mean go get some food.

I understand if you don't want to hang out. This bitch is pretty high maintenance.

Love,

laks

2006-06-28T00:27:00.000-05:00

Breakfast:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew, 20 oz.

Lunch:
(1) can, Campbell's Bean w/Bacon soup
(1/2) loaf, Pepperidge Farms mozzarella cheese bread
(1) can, Ruby Red Squirt

Snack:
(1) can, Coke

Supper:
Turkey and Bacon sandwich from Jimmy John's
(1) can, Coke

Misc:
(8) tums
(8) ibuprofen-generic
(4) cans, Miller High Life beer
(3) glasses, Port

and probably, if I can work up the appetite, a peanut butter sandwich

2006-06-27T12:35:00.000-05:00

yesterday my mom wasn't around much and i spent the evening in the Harvard Square area of Cambridge.

breakfast:
(1) salada tea with milk
(2) cigarettes

lunch:
(1) bowl palak paneer (spinach and paneer)
(1) cigarette

"dinner":
(1) bottle Izze sparkling juice, tangerine flavor
(1) double chocolate fudge muffin
(couple) cigarettes

late night snack:
(1) bowl spicy tapioca pudding...mmmmm.

2006-06-27T09:02:00.000-05:00

I haven't had a cigarette for four days. While cigarettes may not give you aids, they totally give you cancer. that wasn't funny at all.

Anyway, my habits have been more of the same. tons and tons of sugar all morning long. melted cheese and pure lard for all other meals.

yesterday:

>breakfast
apple jacks with 2% milk
brownie with walnuts
(1.5) cups coffee, black

>lunch
potbelly's veggie sandwich
potbelly's chocolate chip cookie

>snack
a supposedly 100 calorie packet of oreo-flavored carboard strips

>dinner
leftover pizza from bellas

>misc
(2) squirts - walgreen-brand nasal spray
(3) ibuprofen
(1) large hot tea

2006-06-27T00:15:00.000-05:00

Lunch:
A few tablespoons of leftover pasta

Snax:
Three little chunks of chicken masala

Dinner:
1/2 lb. hummous
1/2 lb. baba ganoughshgshghshgehshgaskksf
1 12 inch pieces of pita bread
4 slices of human bread

Snax:
2 Oreos
1/2 gram marijuana
15? cigarettes

Scary to think this is the least AIDSy day I've had yet. Sheesh.

2006-06-26T16:13:00.000-05:00

Today:

Breakfast:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew, 20 oz.
(1) small bag, Cheese Nips (gross-Cheese-Its are much better)

Lunch:
(1) roast beef sandwich from Jimmy John's
(1) medium Mr. Pibb
(1) medium Coke

Supper:
(1) peanut butter sandwich

Misc:
(5-6?) glasses, Old Style beer-16 oz.
(1) bottle, Berghoff beer
(2) cans, Miller High Life beer
(4) ibuprofen-generic
(4) tums

Yesterday:

Lunch:
(1) twinkie
potato chips
(2) cans, Ruby Red Squirt

Supper:
(2) slices, DiGiorno frozen pizza

Misc:
(8) ibuprofen
(4) tums
(4) bottles, Berghoff beer
(2) cans, Miller High Life beer
peanut butter sandwich
(1) can, Ruby Red Squirt

2006-06-26T08:35:00.000-05:00

Best exchange thusfar on the Aids blog:

Comments:
---laks said...
ok seriously, how do you people eat so much? my problem is that i literally cannot fit large quantities of food into my stomach.

---M. Wesley, Esq. said...
We aren't WUSSIES. You need to get yourself a funnel, bitch, and learn to take it like a man.

2006-06-25T22:08:00.000-05:00

Oops! Too drunk to do this yesterday.

Today:

Lunch:
1 Huge fucking Bloody Mary
Assorted pickled shit
2 Raw Oysters
1 small pile of pulled pork
1 egg
2 Ribs
2 corn tortillas
some weird pico de gayo shit
rice and beans

Dinner:
1 Giant Scallop
2 Shrimp
A bunch of pasta with cauliflower anchovy sauce.

Aids!

2006-06-25T18:07:00.000-05:00

yesterday:

lunch:
(1) peanut butter sandwich
(2) cans, Ruby Red Squirt

dinner:
(1) bratwurst
(3) pork ribs
chips
cheese
(3) bottles, Rolling Rock beer
(1) coke

misc:
(1) Ruby Red Squirt
(6) cans, Miller High Life beer
(2) glasses, Port
(8) tums
(16) ibuprofen, generic

2006-06-24T23:14:00.000-05:00

Breakfast:
Egg Mcmuffin, hashbrown, large coke--mcdonalds
churro--costco

Lunch
8 pot stickers with soy sauce (frozen)
2 raisin cookies
1 chocolate chip cookie
1 roll

Dinner:
Butter chicken with naan bread
2 large cokes

Misc.
3 cans of pepsi
20 oz fountain coke
various free samples--Costco

I haven't been hungry since breakfast, but that didn't stop me from gorging myself. Gosh, I'm disgusting

2006-06-24T10:42:00.000-05:00

yesterday was classic:

Breakfast:
(1) small box of corn pops with 2% milk
(2) cups of coffee, black

Snack:
(1) brownie with walnuts
(2) tootsie rolls

Lunch:
(1) slice of cheese pizza (thin crust)

Snack:
(1) strawberry shortcake ice cream bar

Dinner:
(1) awesome pulled pork sandwich from Smoke Daddy
(1) square of cornbread
(1) pickle spear

Misc:
(12) cigarettes
(3) miller lights
(1) martini
(1) wine glass of sangria

sangria gives me aids for sure.

FUCK T-CELLS

2006-06-24T02:56:00.000-05:00

NIGGAZ BE HATIN'

OK, Today's Aids:

Lunch:
8 Cookies. Leftover from yesterday. Yummy yum.

Dinner:
1 Big ass piece of fish, breaded and baked,
1 Shrimp, breaded and baked
5 Scallops, breaded and baked
1 Side of Zucchini
1 Baked Potato

I have visitors in town, so the requisite Boston seafood trip happened.

Other:
1/2 gram of Marijuana followed by:
Buttload of Ice Cream
A few pieces beef jerky
Handful Chex mix
Handful Popcorn
5 Assorted Beers
15 Cigarettes

JUNK FOOD AIDS. I would probably lose 20 pounds if I stopped smoking pot, but then I'd be skinny and skinny people are lame. Fat people are better in bed--that's a fact. Can't do shit with skin and bones.

Maybe I'll do some Cocaine tomorrow.

CYCLAMATES!

2006-06-23T21:58:00.000-05:00

i am 5'6" and i weigh 119 lbs. the goal is to be back at 135. however, my mom left eating up to me today, so things went swiftly downhill after 3 days of healthy overeating.

breakfast:
(2) cigarettes
(1) cup Salada tea with milk

lunch:
(1) cigarette
(1/2) bowl spaghetti with marinara sauce

dinner:
(1) cigarette
(1/2) bowl fettucine alfredo
(2) forced gulps of a Coke

misc:
(10) small Italian hazelnut chocolates
(2) VERY RICH chocolate chip cookies
(1) latte

obviously, i have not quit smoking as promised to various people. and, thanks to my birth control, my chocolate-eating phase is way extended. this has been a truly productive day.

2006-06-23T21:45:00.000-05:00

The AIDS roster has become much stronger with the addition of Mike Sherman. For those who don't know him, his biography is here.

Of course, I'm feeling a bit emasculated, due to the fact that I don't have the most AIDS, compared to Mike, and possibly Mary.

Breakfast:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew-20 oz.

Lunch:
(1) bottle, Dr. Pepper-32 oz.
(1) Watchamacalit candy bar

Supper:
(1) McDonald's Quarter Pounder w/cheese
(1) McDonald's McChicken sandwich
medium fries
medium coke

Misc:
several cans, Miller High life beer, I'm sure. I'll try to get a count.

AWWWWWWWWW SHIT

2006-06-23T02:34:00.000-05:00

Shit niggers.

I'm totally pumped about this blog, and unlike people into Ayn Rand, plan on posting regularly. The, you shall not be alone in your AIDS. For I have AIDS too and will be talking about it every day. We will have AIDS together. We will buttfuck without condoms but it will be OK because we both have AIDS. I will snuggle you in my KS covered arms as we die together of a strain of pneumonia usually only seen in transplant patients. We will do poppers and crystal meth. It will be TEH AWESOMEST! OMFG!

Yesterday:

Lunch:
Intense fucking soul food consisting of:
1 Sweet Tea
1 Chicken Leg smothered in Gravy
Collard Greens
Potatoe Salad (that's how the restaurant spelled it!!!)
1 cup of really fatty Chicken Noodle Soup
1 small salad with Creamy Italian dressing
Bread Pudding

Did I mention that I got all this food for $7.50 (not counting the beverage). If you want to go, it's this restaurant in the Village called The Pink Teacup. It's a soul food joint. On Grove St. near Bleeker, I think. I highly recommend it--it actually manages to make the Village suck slightly less.

While I was trying to shit the soul food out today, I discovered that my usual "UNH" wasn't working. So I sang a little ditty and things started flowing just fine. It goes a little something like this:

"MAKE 'EM SAY UNH, UNH, NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA"

Anyway,

Dinner:
1 BBQ Pulled Pork Sub with cheese

Other:
1 Bottle Diet Coke
1 Red Bean Bubble Tea
Copious amounts of water
1/2 gram of Marijuana
2 12 oz. cans of PBR
15? Cigarettes

Did I mention I'm a fucking power smoker? I'm like fucking West Virginia. I give my apartment Acid Rain from all the smoking I do.

That was an awesome day. I had the best fucking lunch ever, got a speeding ticket (which I plan on using to clog up the legal system), and got to walk around Boston with a friend of mine who was in town to MEET MEMBERS OF HIS ESTRANGED FAMILY. We spent like 2 hours walking around boston at 1AM. While high as balls. Yeah!

So.... today:

Dinner:
This requires some explanation. There's this fucking awesome restaurant in Boston that's a Brazillian all you can eat place where you pay by the pound. It's amazing. They have lots of meat and it's fucking cheap. So...
Rice and Beans
Assorted veggies
Collared Greens
1 small piece ham and cheese lasagna
1 pork sausage
6 chicken hearts (CHICKEN HEARTS GIVE ME SATANIC POWER BECAUSE THEY ARE SO DELICIOUS)
2 small pieces of chicken, wrapped in bacon
Assorted Fruit
Flan

I'd estimate this meal had probably as many calories and fat as a large big mac meal. I'm fucking PACKED FULL OF PROTEIN right now, so I'm going to snort some creatine.

Those fucking mud people sure know how to eat. And how to play soccer.

Other
6 chocolate chip cookies (homemade, with extra LUV. BAKING PARTY. I'm not talking like tube homemade, I'm talking scratch--flour, sugar, butter, etc. Real Men Bake)
15? Cigarettes
1/2 gram Marijuana
Copious amounts of water.

Notes:
I fucking eat a lot. Because eating is awesome. Fast food is boring, eating should be a fucking adventure. Frozen food sucks too. So does anything in a box. It's all about blowing your mind. Which is why living in a city is awesome. Maybe I'll go shop at the Russian food mart tomorrow. And there's a store that sells Kimchi by the gallon--I can shit Asian Dragon Fire.

For the record, my job schedule is totally schitzo. I wont work for a week at a time, then I'll have to travel somewhere or something weird. I also mostly work weekends, so I end up sleeping until 4 most of the time, taking me directly into dinner. ROCK.

Obviously, I'm really into food. Food is great. If I had to choose between shitty food and good sex or shitty sex and good food for the rest of my life, I'd choose shitty sex and good food. Whenever I tell people this they say something they think is really witty, like, "HUH HUH HUH. YOU MUST BE HAVING SOME TEH PRETTY BAD SEX." To which I reply, "YOU MUST BE EATING SOME PRETTY TEH SHITTY FOOD, N0oB." It's pretty clear that I eat too damn much, but I don't give a shit. At least I'm getting fruits and vegetables, which is more than I can say for everyone else in club HIVAIDS.

I came to the decision that I'd rather die younger and still be able to eat, smoke, inhale, or inject whatever I want. Figure I'll be going at 65 instead of 75. Big fucking whoop--those years are spent rotting in some nursing home with a catheter jammed up your bladder while your relatives make polite visits and hope that you'll hurry up and die.

I have guests in town, so my guess is this weekend's entries will be pretty intense, hopefully LSD and Cocaine intense, which means I'll be eating lots of Twizzlers.

2006-06-23T01:14:00.000-05:00

Man...the rest of my fellow bloggers are slacking off. You just aren't dedicated enough to AIDS. It's not like it's that hard to log on and blog for 30 seconds a day. But then again, I'm barely employed right now, so what do I know?

Lunch:
(1) can, Campbell's bean w/bacon soup
(1/2) loaf Pepperidge Farms mozzarella cheese bread
(2) cans, Ruby Red Squirt

Snack:
Good Humor Giant ice cream sandwich

Supper:
Ham, Turkey, Cheese sandwich of some sort from Jimmy John's

Misc:
(2) cans, Ruby Red Squirt
(3) bottles, Red Hook beer
(3) cans, Old Style beer
(1) bottle, Natural Ice beer

2006-06-22T01:13:00.000-05:00

2006-06-21T02:18:00.000-05:00

My name is Lakshmi. according to various friends/boyfriends, i have an "eating disorder." my former therapist said i have "a poor relationship food," ie, i have a problem with taking care of myself (although i have no problem taking care of others). it's true, i eat very very little. but it's not because i have a self-image problem (hell, i like my body) or because i'm a control freak (i gave up on having control over anything a long, long time ago).

it's that i'm fucking lazy. for example. there will be cheese and bread in my old apartment. so i think, hey, i'll make some grilled cheese. then i realize that i would have to heat the pan, melt some butter on it, put the bread and cheese on, turn it off at that crucial moment when the cheese melts but before the toast burns... it's a hassle. so i end up eating Kraft singles instead. or just the plain bread by itself. or not at all.

i should also add that i am a heavy smoker and moderate drinker.

morning:

(1) small Dunkin' Donuts coffee with cream and sugar
(1) glazed Donut
(4) cigarettes

afternoon:

(4) cigarettes

evening:

(1) half cup of black bean soup
(4) cigarettes

anyway, now i'm home in Boston for about a month and a half before moving to Philadelphia. my future entries will be about overeating. but i wanted to post the above as a monument to my former, college self. if only this blog had existed earlier.

2006-06-20T23:59:00.000-05:00

My diet is pretty damned bad most of the time. Today was pretty low-key because I was too busy for maximum AIDS ingestion. I think it's pretty clear that although my fast food consumption isn't QUITE offensive yet, most of my problems lie with alcohol ingestion. Besides the damage to my liver and acid reflux, I'm also a disgusting blob. If I were to quit drinking, I'd probably drop some lbs., but then I wouldn't have anything to help me with my chronic depression. You really can't win.

It's really awesome to write this blog while watching "Dr. 90210." I'm the opposite of these people. They'd do anything to look sexier, while everything I do results in my looking like an ogre.

Lunch:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew, 24 oz.

Dinner:
Cashew Chicken, w/ white rice

Snack:
Pringles-salt and vinegar flavor

Misc:
(4) bottles, Natural Ice beer

2006-06-20T13:49:00.000-05:00

Yesterday:
McDonalds breakfast + large coke
2 corn dogs
1 cheesy gordiata crunch (taco bell)
3 large pepsis/cokes from various establishments.

Today:
Chicken biscuit (chick fil a)
1. 5 large cokes
1 corn dog

It has occured to me that, like Adele, I have become afraid of blogging on this site, because the sheer volume of the terrible food I eat is stunning. It no longer tastes as good, somehow. I'm also stunned that I weigh AS LITTLE as I do, all things considered. I mean, look how much garbage I eat! Every_Single_Meal. Look at all the soda I drink. And I still only weigh, like, 175, 180? That's amazing.

2006-06-20T13:04:00.000-05:00

my favorite kind of aids is chicken mcnuggets. I had them for lunch today.

Monday (was an eating fiasco):
>Breakfast:
Quaker Oats instant oatmeal (maple, brown sugar flavor)
banana

>Lunch:
salad and chicken breast

>Snacks:
a couple of handfuls of planters peanuts
a few tootsie rolls
a mini twix bar
cheese nips (the gross low-fat ones)

>Dinner:
Fish and chips from Take 5
chocolate cake

>Misc:
(.5) Miller Lite
(2.5) Camel Lights

Today:
>Breakfast:
Quaker oats instant oatmeal (maple brown sugar flavor)

>Lunch:
The Number 9 from McDonalds' (with diet coke)

>Snack:
mini Baby Ruth candy bar
yucky low fat cheese nips

2006-06-19T19:40:00.000-05:00

Breakfast:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew-20 oz.

Lunch:
(1) Hot Pocket-1/2 lb., ham & cheese flavor
curly fries
(1) bottle, A&W root beer, 20 oz.

Supper:
(1) Italian Night Club sandwich from Jimmy John's
potato chips

Misc:
(2) cans, Old Style beer
(4) bottles, Natural Ice beer

2006-06-19T08:29:00.000-05:00

honestly, this blog has almost scared me straight. That second ice cream cone just doesn't taste as sweet knowing that I owe a duty of honesty to the blogosphere.

Anyway, I will try to approximate my weekend.

Saturday:

>Breakfast:
(2) doughnuts (one powdered, one chocolate glazed)
(1) medium coffee (black)

>Lunch:
Grilled cheese sandwich, french fries

>Misc:
ice cream (chocolate therapy flavor)
tostitos and salsa con queso
(4) Camel light cigarettes
(1) Miller light

Sunday:

>Breakfast:
(1) doughnut (sprinkles)
(1) medium iced coffee (with milk and splenda)

>Lunch:
take out sushi

>Dinner:
(1) mint chocolate chip ice cream cone
pop corn with salt and butter

>Misc:
(1) Camel Light Cigarette

2006-06-18T19:05:00.000-05:00

hoo boy! Rough night last night!

So far today:

Lunch:
(3) eggs, over hard (I ordered them over-easy, but they obviously don't know how to cook eggs)
french fries
(2) slices, white toast
(1) glass, Coca Cola-16 oz.

Supper:
(9) pizza rolls
french fries
(2) glasses, cranberry juice-16 oz.

Misc:
(2) 16 0z. glasses, Gatorade-lemon lime flavor
(2) bottles, Red Hook beer
Wavy Lays potato chips

Off the wagon and on the town

2006-06-18T17:27:00.000-05:00

Oh my gosh, do I even want to begin to say what I have eaten this weekend? Let's see:

In no particular order:
5 corndogs, eggmcmuffin meal, half a bag of potato chips, a slice of chocolate cake, a handful of chocolate covered pretzels, 30+ cola products, new york strip steak in a wine shallot sauce with mashed potatos, a hunk of white bread, creme brulee, a cinnamon roll, a piece of peanut butter toast, hot dog, a handful of popcorn.

I have a habit of conteracting weight I've lost (I started excercising again last week) by binge eating. It's something I do to every single time the diet works, and I'm not sure why. This weekend was no exception. Seriously though, monday--1.5 meals, 2 hours of cardio. for serious. I can't go to New York looking like texas: a steer and a queer.

Jimminy

2006-06-17T14:41:00.000-05:00

A Jimmy John's opened up about a block away from my house! AIDStastic!

Lunch:
Jimmy John's sandwich-"Vito" w/hot peppers
chips (Lays wavy)
(2) glasses, Coke-16 oz.

Supper:
(1) hamburger
(1) polish sausage
fruit salad

Misc:
(8) Tums
(10ish?) beers
(2) margaritas
(2) scotch on the rocks, approx 8 oz. each
(1) line, cocaine

2006-06-17T01:13:00.000-05:00

Scott sent me a link to this:
http://www.josepino.com/real_meal/index.pl

I think we could almost do this with the AIDS blog, although instead of grading food by size and presentation, etc., we should use our bowel movements as the barometer. Hell, I think we could almost do it just based on time from mouth to toilet. KFC ranks very highly, as I know of a few times that I had to run home immediately after eating the thigh and leg meal.

This could even work with other varieties of AIDS...For instance, cocaine. I wouldn't really know, but I've heard things.

Or beer, though the bowel movement shall be judged on color and consistency.

2006-06-16T21:49:00.000-05:00

Breakfast:
--(1) can of caffeine free coke
--(1) egg mcmuffin
--(1) hash brown
--(1) large coke

Snack:
--(.5) large coke

Lunch:
--(1/3) double cheesburger (mcdonalds)
--(4) quasadilla triangles (+ sour cream and pico de guello)
--(1) glass of water

Dinner:
--(1) chicken breast
--(1 cup) noodles with white sauce
--(1 piece) birthday cake
--(1) glass of milk

liquid diet

2006-06-16T19:14:00.000-05:00

Breakfast:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew, 20 oz.

Lunch:
(1) bottle, Dr. Pepper, 32 oz.
(1) Whatchamacalit candy bar

Supper:
(1) Cheeseburger, 1/2 lb., w/swiss cheese
french fries

Misc:
(8) cans, Old Style beer
(9) tums
(15) ibuprofen (generic)

It was a migraine night.

Philly Cheese AIDS

2006-06-15T18:26:00.000-05:00

Lunch:
(1) Mountain Dew, 1 liter bottle

Supper:
Philly cheesesteak sandwich-no onions
french fries

Misc:
(3) Tums
(6) cans, Old Style beer

My tummy is doing funny things right now.

2006-06-15T14:27:00.000-05:00

>Breakfast:
(1) pop tart, apple strudle flavored
(2) cups of coffee, black

>Lunch:
(1) diet coke
(1) onion soup with lots and lots of cheese and crutons

>Snack:
(1) Sun-Maid mini packet of raisins
(1) mini Babe Ruth candy bar
(1) mini Kit Kat bar

>Dinner:
Red Curry (Thai Village)

>Misc:
(1) Bud Light (blahhhhhh)
(2) Camel lights

2006-06-15T08:47:00.000-05:00

Breakfast:
--McDonalds
----(1) Egg McMuffin
----(1) Hash Brown
----(1) Large coke

Lunch:
--Wendy's
------(1) Spicy Chicken Sandwich
------(.5) Large Coke

Dinner:
--(.5) Bread bowl with tomato basil soup
--(1.5) glass of water
--(1) slice of bruscetta

Snack:
--(1.5) Large Coke
--(3) mini butterfingers

2006-06-14T17:59:00.000-05:00

The, I love you with my entire heart (and all of the surrounding clogged arteries) for starting this weblog.

My story is a simple one. I fucking love McDonalds. And now I work in an office building that has one in the basement. What used to be destination dining is now calling to me all day, every day. In addition to this, the company I work for provides a lot of free snack foods. So I pretty much eat all day long. Almost everything I eat falls into one of three categories (1) the fried category, (2) the melted cheese category, or (3) the refined sugar category. I also drink too much, and I smoke. I've exercised once in the past two years. I have not yet ballooned into a fat load because I often forget to eat dinner due to excessive alcohol consumption. This horrible habit is saving me from getting fat, but it's killing my brain and most of my other internal organs with frightening efficiency.

So far for today:

> Breakfast:
(1) Pop-Tart (apple strudel flavor)
(3) Cups of coffee (2 black, one with splenda)

> Lunch:
(1) cold-busters flavor jamba juice (small)
(1) package of Kraft-brand cheese and peanut butter crackers

> Dinner:
red curry from penny's

> Misc:
(6) Camel light cigarettes
(1/2) glass of gross, cheap chardonnay
(1) miller lite

2006-06-14T17:16:00.000-05:00

Today's food:

Breakfast:
--(1) chicken biscuit (chick-fil-a)
--(1) Large coke

Lunch:
--(1) Large Coke (mcdonalds)

Dinner:
--Butter chicken, tikka masala (indian restaurant)
--rice
--(4) Glass of pepsi

Misc:
--beef jerky
--orange juice

Same 'ol, same 'ol

2006-06-14T14:02:00.000-05:00

Lunch:
tater tots
(1) can, Bush's baked beans
(2) 16 oz. glasses of Gatorade, lemon-lime flavor

Snack:
Kellogg's Corn Pops, approx. 3 cups

Supper:
(4) slices, Domino's pizza, pepperoni and mushroom

Misc:
(9) ibuprofen-generic
(8) Tums-regular strength
(8) cans, Old Style beer

2006-06-14T13:53:00.000-05:00

Here is my food log for yesterday:
Breakfast:
--(1) Egg McMuffin (mcdonald's)
--(1) Has Brown (McDonald's)
--(1 Large Coke (mcDonald's)

Lunch:
--(1.5) Glass of water (gross!)
--(1) Medium Coke (mcdonald's)

Snack:
--(1) Medium Coke (chick fil a)

Dinner:
--(2.5) piece fried chicken (popeyes)
--(1) biscuit w/ Honey (popeyes)
--(1) Large coke

Snack:
--(2) can of coke
--(1) bottle water (gross!)

Fun note--That's half the coke I usually drink in a day!

A brief introduction of space and time

2006-06-14T13:45:00.000-05:00

Really quickly, I'd like to introduce myself: My name is Mary Jones, and I've been eating poison since...well, as far back as I can remember, really.

My mother told me the dispiriting story of how she gave up on providing me with proper eating habits. Up to the age of say, 2, she (a hippie, as she was) fed me granolas, unsweetened yogurts, organic baby food, carrots, etc. My father gave me a Dorito one day, and I latched onto the bag as if it were full of sweet, delicious crack. And it was. My mother, abhorred that my father undermined her authority, gave up, and I've pretty much eaten whatever I wanted whenever I wanted since then.

Around 14 I swapped water for soda. I have been drinking coke in lieu of water ever since. Sure, sometimes I'll switch to diet, but I never drink water recreationally. I have fast food for at least 2 of my three meals a day, and I never eat a salad unless it's an occasion.

At the moment, I'm trying to lose weight for New York. But all this means is I eat less garbage then normal, not better quality food. I am Mary Jones. I am killing myself. I am loving every minute of it

June 13, 2006

2006-06-13T15:26:00.000-05:00

Lunch:
tater tots
(1) can Bush's baked beans
(2) glasses, Gatorade, 16 oz. (lemon-lime flavor)

Snack 1:
(1) Quaker Oats granola bar (chocolate chip flavor)
(1) glass, Gatorade, 16 oz. (lemon-lime flavor)

Supper:
peanut butter sandwich

Misc:
(1) can, Old Style beer
(1) bottle, Old Style beer
(6, or 7, or 8) mugs, Miller Genuine Draft beer (I don't know how much, I wasn't buying)

Snack 2:
peanut butter sandwich