The AIDS Blog

Lunch:
1 piece of tomato onion and sausage pizza

Dinner:
2/3 of abox of tuna helper, prepared.

Other:
10ish cigarettes
I'm also probably going to eat another piece of pizza before I go to bed. We'll see.

THIS IS THE FIRST DAY IN A WEEK THAT I HAVEN'T SMOKED POT!!!!

Oh, and anyone who hasn't seen this needs to right now. Make sure to check out the artwork and "reverse trigger" sections. I fucking love shit like this. I hope whoever made this website never got to finish it because they died.

i'm at 120 lbs even with a disgustingly full stomach. what the fuck? have i actually managed to lose more weight since coming home, even though i swear to jesus that i am eating more than i can possibly fit into my body? i must:

a) be pregnant
b) have a tapeworm


today i ingested:

breakfast:
(2) cigarettes
(2) teas
(1) bowl Honey Bunches of Oats cereal with 1% milk (my mom switched to 1%)

soul food:
then i watched Season 2 of Alias on DVD for 4 consecutive hours, because i am of course really depressed about my breakup and i dont want to do anything but sit on the couch and think about whether or not i should call what's-his-name, while i watch beautiful people shoot each other/have sex.

lunch:
(1) cheese and veggie quesadilla, which i made, and which was totally gross.
(2) cigarettes

snack:
(1) chocolate-fudge-caramel brownie thingie from Starbucks
(5) Baci hazelnut-chocolates

dinner:
(2) slices of cheese pizza from Papa Gino's
(1) sip of my mom's totally gross diet Pepsi.

yesterday:

lunch:
salad
spaghetti w/meat sauce
bread
tiramisu
(2) cups, Coke

snack:
(1/2) loaf, Pepperidge Farms mozzarella cheese bread
(1) can, Coke

supper:
spaghetti
(2) slices, bread w/butter
(1) can, Coke

misc:
(1) bottle, Newcastle beer
(1) bottle, Sierra Nevada beer
(1) can, Coke
(4) ibuprofen-generic

How come I'm blogging twice in a row? I doubt everyone's commitment to AIDS. Fuckers.

Today:

Lunch:
1/2 PBJ
1 piece of bread with baba ghanojugushashhashdfshaius

Dinner:
Roomate's Grandma's Indian Leftovers Festival
Chicken Flavored Rice (Lots)
Mixed Veggies (Lots)
Some Pork Thing (not so much)
Some Chickpea Thing (lots)

Fun:
1 pint frozen yogurt
15ish cigarettes
1/4 gram marijuana


For the record, it SERIOUSLY disturbs me that I seem to be eating more vegetables than everyone else COMBINED. What is wrong with you people?

Yesterday:

Lunch:
1 Kibby (some big middle eastern thing with meat and grains and shit)
1 small salad
Yogurt sauce

Dinner:
1 BBQ chicken "Super Burrito" - a burrito slightly smaller than chipotle-sized, with all the awesome crap that burritos have in them
A few tortilla chips with Salsa

Other:
1 Diet Coke
15ish Cigarettes
1/4 gram of Marijuana


Althought it really doesn't matter, since I vomited it all up when I heard Ashlee Simpson was going to pose for Playboy.
HAHA! YOU JUST VOMIT TOO!

I found out this morning that it isn't actually going to happen. Good think I've saved my vomit, now I am going to go eat it.

Dear M. Wesley, Esq.:

Do you want to hang out in Boston sometime? We could go get AIDS together if you want. And by that, I mean go get some food.

I understand if you don't want to hang out. This bitch is pretty high maintenance.

Love,

laks

Breakfast:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew, 20 oz.

Lunch:
(1) can, Campbell's Bean w/Bacon soup
(1/2) loaf, Pepperidge Farms mozzarella cheese bread
(1) can, Ruby Red Squirt

Snack:
(1) can, Coke

Supper:
Turkey and Bacon sandwich from Jimmy John's
(1) can, Coke

Misc:
(8) tums
(8) ibuprofen-generic
(4) cans, Miller High Life beer
(3) glasses, Port

and probably, if I can work up the appetite, a peanut butter sandwich

yesterday my mom wasn't around much and i spent the evening in the Harvard Square area of Cambridge.

breakfast:
(1) salada tea with milk
(2) cigarettes

lunch:
(1) bowl palak paneer (spinach and paneer)
(1) cigarette

"dinner":
(1) bottle Izze sparkling juice, tangerine flavor
(1) double chocolate fudge muffin
(couple) cigarettes

late night snack:
(1) bowl spicy tapioca pudding...mmmmm.

I haven't had a cigarette for four days. While cigarettes may not give you aids, they totally give you cancer. that wasn't funny at all.

Anyway, my habits have been more of the same. tons and tons of sugar all morning long. melted cheese and pure lard for all other meals.

yesterday:

>breakfast
apple jacks with 2% milk
brownie with walnuts
(1.5) cups coffee, black

>lunch
potbelly's veggie sandwich
potbelly's chocolate chip cookie

>snack
a supposedly 100 calorie packet of oreo-flavored carboard strips

>dinner
leftover pizza from bellas

>misc
(2) squirts - walgreen-brand nasal spray
(3) ibuprofen
(1) large hot tea

Lunch:
A few tablespoons of leftover pasta

Snax:
Three little chunks of chicken masala

Dinner:
1/2 lb. hummous
1/2 lb. baba ganoughshgshghshgehshgaskksf
1 12 inch pieces of pita bread
4 slices of human bread

Snax:
2 Oreos
1/2 gram marijuana
15? cigarettes

Scary to think this is the least AIDSy day I've had yet. Sheesh.

Today:

Breakfast:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew, 20 oz.
(1) small bag, Cheese Nips (gross-Cheese-Its are much better)

Lunch:
(1) roast beef sandwich from Jimmy John's
(1) medium Mr. Pibb
(1) medium Coke

Supper:
(1) peanut butter sandwich

Misc:
(5-6?) glasses, Old Style beer-16 oz.
(1) bottle, Berghoff beer
(2) cans, Miller High Life beer
(4) ibuprofen-generic
(4) tums

Yesterday:

Lunch:
(1) twinkie
potato chips
(2) cans, Ruby Red Squirt

Supper:
(2) slices, DiGiorno frozen pizza

Misc:
(8) ibuprofen
(4) tums
(4) bottles, Berghoff beer
(2) cans, Miller High Life beer
peanut butter sandwich
(1) can, Ruby Red Squirt

Best exchange thusfar on the Aids blog:

Comments:
---laks said...
ok seriously, how do you people eat so much? my problem is that i literally cannot fit large quantities of food into my stomach.

---M. Wesley, Esq. said...
We aren't WUSSIES. You need to get yourself a funnel, bitch, and learn to take it like a man.

Oops! Too drunk to do this yesterday.

Today:

Lunch:
1 Huge fucking Bloody Mary
Assorted pickled shit
2 Raw Oysters
1 small pile of pulled pork
1 egg
2 Ribs
2 corn tortillas
some weird pico de gayo shit
rice and beans

Dinner:
1 Giant Scallop
2 Shrimp
A bunch of pasta with cauliflower anchovy sauce.


Aids!

yesterday:

lunch:
(1) peanut butter sandwich
(2) cans, Ruby Red Squirt

dinner:
(1) bratwurst
(3) pork ribs
chips
cheese
(3) bottles, Rolling Rock beer
(1) coke

misc:
(1) Ruby Red Squirt
(6) cans, Miller High Life beer
(2) glasses, Port
(8) tums
(16) ibuprofen, generic

Breakfast:
Egg Mcmuffin, hashbrown, large coke--mcdonalds
churro--costco

Lunch
8 pot stickers with soy sauce (frozen)
2 raisin cookies
1 chocolate chip cookie
1 roll

Dinner:
Butter chicken with naan bread
2 large cokes

Misc.
3 cans of pepsi
20 oz fountain coke
various free samples--Costco

I haven't been hungry since breakfast, but that didn't stop me from gorging myself. Gosh, I'm disgusting

yesterday was classic:

Breakfast:
(1) small box of corn pops with 2% milk
(2) cups of coffee, black

Snack:
(1) brownie with walnuts
(2) tootsie rolls

Lunch:
(1) slice of cheese pizza (thin crust)

Snack:
(1) strawberry shortcake ice cream bar

Dinner:
(1) awesome pulled pork sandwich from Smoke Daddy
(1) square of cornbread
(1) pickle spear

Misc:
(12) cigarettes
(3) miller lights
(1) martini
(1) wine glass of sangria

sangria gives me aids for sure.

NIGGAZ BE HATIN'

OK, Today's Aids:

Lunch:
8 Cookies. Leftover from yesterday. Yummy yum.

Dinner:
1 Big ass piece of fish, breaded and baked,
1 Shrimp, breaded and baked
5 Scallops, breaded and baked
1 Side of Zucchini
1 Baked Potato

I have visitors in town, so the requisite Boston seafood trip happened.

Other:
1/2 gram of Marijuana followed by:
Buttload of Ice Cream
A few pieces beef jerky
Handful Chex mix
Handful Popcorn
5 Assorted Beers
15 Cigarettes


JUNK FOOD AIDS. I would probably lose 20 pounds if I stopped smoking pot, but then I'd be skinny and skinny people are lame. Fat people are better in bed--that's a fact. Can't do shit with skin and bones.

Maybe I'll do some Cocaine tomorrow.

CYCLAMATES!

i am 5'6" and i weigh 119 lbs. the goal is to be back at 135. however, my mom left eating up to me today, so things went swiftly downhill after 3 days of healthy overeating.

breakfast:
(2) cigarettes
(1) cup Salada tea with milk

lunch:
(1) cigarette
(1/2) bowl spaghetti with marinara sauce

dinner:
(1) cigarette
(1/2) bowl fettucine alfredo
(2) forced gulps of a Coke

misc:
(10) small Italian hazelnut chocolates
(2) VERY RICH chocolate chip cookies
(1) latte

obviously, i have not quit smoking as promised to various people. and, thanks to my birth control, my chocolate-eating phase is way extended. this has been a truly productive day.

The AIDS roster has become much stronger with the addition of Mike Sherman. For those who don't know him, his biography is here.

Of course, I'm feeling a bit emasculated, due to the fact that I don't have the most AIDS, compared to Mike, and possibly Mary.

Breakfast:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew-20 oz.

Lunch:
(1) bottle, Dr. Pepper-32 oz.
(1) Watchamacalit candy bar

Supper:
(1) McDonald's Quarter Pounder w/cheese
(1) McDonald's McChicken sandwich
medium fries
medium coke

Misc:
several cans, Miller High life beer, I'm sure. I'll try to get a count.

Shit niggers.

I'm totally pumped about this blog, and unlike people into Ayn Rand, plan on posting regularly. The, you shall not be alone in your AIDS. For I have AIDS too and will be talking about it every day. We will have AIDS together. We will buttfuck without condoms but it will be OK because we both have AIDS. I will snuggle you in my KS covered arms as we die together of a strain of pneumonia usually only seen in transplant patients. We will do poppers and crystal meth. It will be TEH AWESOMEST! OMFG!

Yesterday:

Lunch:
Intense fucking soul food consisting of:
1 Sweet Tea
1 Chicken Leg smothered in Gravy
Collard Greens
Potatoe Salad (that's how the restaurant spelled it!!!)
1 cup of really fatty Chicken Noodle Soup
1 small salad with Creamy Italian dressing
Bread Pudding

Did I mention that I got all this food for $7.50 (not counting the beverage). If you want to go, it's this restaurant in the Village called The Pink Teacup. It's a soul food joint. On Grove St. near Bleeker, I think. I highly recommend it--it actually manages to make the Village suck slightly less.

While I was trying to shit the soul food out today, I discovered that my usual "UNH" wasn't working. So I sang a little ditty and things started flowing just fine. It goes a little something like this:

"MAKE 'EM SAY UNH, UNH, NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA"

Anyway,

Dinner:
1 BBQ Pulled Pork Sub with cheese

Other:
1 Bottle Diet Coke
1 Red Bean Bubble Tea
Copious amounts of water
1/2 gram of Marijuana
2 12 oz. cans of PBR
15? Cigarettes

Did I mention I'm a fucking power smoker? I'm like fucking West Virginia. I give my apartment Acid Rain from all the smoking I do.

That was an awesome day. I had the best fucking lunch ever, got a speeding ticket (which I plan on using to clog up the legal system), and got to walk around Boston with a friend of mine who was in town to MEET MEMBERS OF HIS ESTRANGED FAMILY. We spent like 2 hours walking around boston at 1AM. While high as balls. Yeah!


So.... today:

Dinner:
This requires some explanation. There's this fucking awesome restaurant in Boston that's a Brazillian all you can eat place where you pay by the pound. It's amazing. They have lots of meat and it's fucking cheap. So...
Rice and Beans
Assorted veggies
Collared Greens
1 small piece ham and cheese lasagna
1 pork sausage
6 chicken hearts (CHICKEN HEARTS GIVE ME SATANIC POWER BECAUSE THEY ARE SO DELICIOUS)
2 small pieces of chicken, wrapped in bacon
Assorted Fruit
Flan

I'd estimate this meal had probably as many calories and fat as a large big mac meal. I'm fucking PACKED FULL OF PROTEIN right now, so I'm going to snort some creatine.

Those fucking mud people sure know how to eat. And how to play soccer.

Other
6 chocolate chip cookies (homemade, with extra LUV. BAKING PARTY. I'm not talking like tube homemade, I'm talking scratch--flour, sugar, butter, etc. Real Men Bake)
15? Cigarettes
1/2 gram Marijuana
Copious amounts of water.

Notes:
I fucking eat a lot. Because eating is awesome. Fast food is boring, eating should be a fucking adventure. Frozen food sucks too. So does anything in a box. It's all about blowing your mind. Which is why living in a city is awesome. Maybe I'll go shop at the Russian food mart tomorrow. And there's a store that sells Kimchi by the gallon--I can shit Asian Dragon Fire.

For the record, my job schedule is totally schitzo. I wont work for a week at a time, then I'll have to travel somewhere or something weird. I also mostly work weekends, so I end up sleeping until 4 most of the time, taking me directly into dinner. ROCK.

Obviously, I'm really into food. Food is great. If I had to choose between shitty food and good sex or shitty sex and good food for the rest of my life, I'd choose shitty sex and good food. Whenever I tell people this they say something they think is really witty, like, "HUH HUH HUH. YOU MUST BE HAVING SOME TEH PRETTY BAD SEX." To which I reply, "YOU MUST BE EATING SOME PRETTY TEH SHITTY FOOD, N0oB." It's pretty clear that I eat too damn much, but I don't give a shit. At least I'm getting fruits and vegetables, which is more than I can say for everyone else in club HIVAIDS.

I came to the decision that I'd rather die younger and still be able to eat, smoke, inhale, or inject whatever I want. Figure I'll be going at 65 instead of 75. Big fucking whoop--those years are spent rotting in some nursing home with a catheter jammed up your bladder while your relatives make polite visits and hope that you'll hurry up and die.

I have guests in town, so my guess is this weekend's entries will be pretty intense, hopefully LSD and Cocaine intense, which means I'll be eating lots of Twizzlers.

Man...the rest of my fellow bloggers are slacking off. You just aren't dedicated enough to AIDS. It's not like it's that hard to log on and blog for 30 seconds a day. But then again, I'm barely employed right now, so what do I know?

Lunch:
(1) can, Campbell's bean w/bacon soup
(1/2) loaf Pepperidge Farms mozzarella cheese bread
(2) cans, Ruby Red Squirt

Snack:
Good Humor Giant ice cream sandwich

Supper:
Ham, Turkey, Cheese sandwich of some sort from Jimmy John's

Misc:
(2) cans, Ruby Red Squirt
(3) bottles, Red Hook beer
(3) cans, Old Style beer
(1) bottle, Natural Ice beer

it was suggested that I turn this blog into a video blog, where the consumption of AIDS is displayed for public interest. I'm totally into this idea. If you dig watching me eat Brown's Chicken and immediately run home to drop a deuce, more power to you. However, I need investors, as a mini-dv camera is prohibitively expensive right now (hey, I can barely afford AIDS!). So if you're a total pinko communist and enjoy donating to the arts, hit up my paypal account, and we'll make this thing happen:



Lunch:
(1) can, Campbell's Bean w/Bacon soup
(1/2) loaf, Hillshire Farms mozarella cheese bread
(2) cans, Ruby Red Squirt

Dinner:
(1) peanut butter sandwich

Misc:
(5) cans, Old Style beer
(2) pints, Pabst Blue Ribbon beer
french fries
(2) cans, Ruby Red Squirt

My name is Lakshmi. according to various friends/boyfriends, i have an "eating disorder." my former therapist said i have "a poor relationship food," ie, i have a problem with taking care of myself (although i have no problem taking care of others). it's true, i eat very very little. but it's not because i have a self-image problem (hell, i like my body) or because i'm a control freak (i gave up on having control over anything a long, long time ago).

it's that i'm fucking lazy. for example. there will be cheese and bread in my old apartment. so i think, hey, i'll make some grilled cheese. then i realize that i would have to heat the pan, melt some butter on it, put the bread and cheese on, turn it off at that crucial moment when the cheese melts but before the toast burns... it's a hassle. so i end up eating Kraft singles instead. or just the plain bread by itself. or not at all.

i should also add that i am a heavy smoker and moderate drinker.

morning:

(1) small Dunkin' Donuts coffee with cream and sugar
(1) glazed Donut
(4) cigarettes

afternoon:

(4) cigarettes

evening:

(1) half cup of black bean soup
(4) cigarettes

anyway, now i'm home in Boston for about a month and a half before moving to Philadelphia. my future entries will be about overeating. but i wanted to post the above as a monument to my former, college self. if only this blog had existed earlier.

My diet is pretty damned bad most of the time. Today was pretty low-key because I was too busy for maximum AIDS ingestion. I think it's pretty clear that although my fast food consumption isn't QUITE offensive yet, most of my problems lie with alcohol ingestion. Besides the damage to my liver and acid reflux, I'm also a disgusting blob. If I were to quit drinking, I'd probably drop some lbs., but then I wouldn't have anything to help me with my chronic depression. You really can't win.

It's really awesome to write this blog while watching "Dr. 90210." I'm the opposite of these people. They'd do anything to look sexier, while everything I do results in my looking like an ogre.

Lunch:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew, 24 oz.

Dinner:
Cashew Chicken, w/ white rice

Snack:
Pringles-salt and vinegar flavor

Misc:
(4) bottles, Natural Ice beer

Yesterday:
McDonalds breakfast + large coke
2 corn dogs
1 cheesy gordiata crunch (taco bell)
3 large pepsis/cokes from various establishments.

Today:
Chicken biscuit (chick fil a)
1. 5 large cokes
1 corn dog

It has occured to me that, like Adele, I have become afraid of blogging on this site, because the sheer volume of the terrible food I eat is stunning. It no longer tastes as good, somehow. I'm also stunned that I weigh AS LITTLE as I do, all things considered. I mean, look how much garbage I eat! Every_Single_Meal. Look at all the soda I drink. And I still only weigh, like, 175, 180? That's amazing.

my favorite kind of aids is chicken mcnuggets. I had them for lunch today.

Monday (was an eating fiasco):
>Breakfast:
Quaker Oats instant oatmeal (maple, brown sugar flavor)
banana

>Lunch:
salad and chicken breast

>Snacks:
a couple of handfuls of planters peanuts
a few tootsie rolls
a mini twix bar
cheese nips (the gross low-fat ones)

>Dinner:
Fish and chips from Take 5
chocolate cake

>Misc:
(.5) Miller Lite
(2.5) Camel Lights


Today:
>Breakfast:
Quaker oats instant oatmeal (maple brown sugar flavor)

>Lunch:
The Number 9 from McDonalds' (with diet coke)

>Snack:
mini Baby Ruth candy bar
yucky low fat cheese nips

Breakfast:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew-20 oz.

Lunch:
(1) Hot Pocket-1/2 lb., ham & cheese flavor
curly fries
(1) bottle, A&W root beer, 20 oz.

Supper:
(1) Italian Night Club sandwich from Jimmy John's
potato chips

Misc:
(2) cans, Old Style beer
(4) bottles, Natural Ice beer

honestly, this blog has almost scared me straight. That second ice cream cone just doesn't taste as sweet knowing that I owe a duty of honesty to the blogosphere.

Anyway, I will try to approximate my weekend.

Saturday:

>Breakfast:
(2) doughnuts (one powdered, one chocolate glazed)
(1) medium coffee (black)

>Lunch:
Grilled cheese sandwich, french fries

>Misc:
ice cream (chocolate therapy flavor)
tostitos and salsa con queso
(4) Camel light cigarettes
(1) Miller light


Sunday:

>Breakfast:
(1) doughnut (sprinkles)
(1) medium iced coffee (with milk and splenda)

>Lunch:
take out sushi

>Dinner:
(1) mint chocolate chip ice cream cone
pop corn with salt and butter

>Misc:
(1) Camel Light Cigarette

hoo boy! Rough night last night!

So far today:

Lunch:
(3) eggs, over hard (I ordered them over-easy, but they obviously don't know how to cook eggs)
french fries
(2) slices, white toast
(1) glass, Coca Cola-16 oz.

Supper:
(9) pizza rolls
french fries
(2) glasses, cranberry juice-16 oz.

Misc:
(2) 16 0z. glasses, Gatorade-lemon lime flavor
(2) bottles, Red Hook beer
Wavy Lays potato chips

Oh my gosh, do I even want to begin to say what I have eaten this weekend? Let's see:

In no particular order:
5 corndogs, eggmcmuffin meal, half a bag of potato chips, a slice of chocolate cake, a handful of chocolate covered pretzels, 30+ cola products, new york strip steak in a wine shallot sauce with mashed potatos, a hunk of white bread, creme brulee, a cinnamon roll, a piece of peanut butter toast, hot dog, a handful of popcorn.

I have a habit of conteracting weight I've lost (I started excercising again last week) by binge eating. It's something I do to every single time the diet works, and I'm not sure why. This weekend was no exception. Seriously though, monday--1.5 meals, 2 hours of cardio. for serious. I can't go to New York looking like texas: a steer and a queer.

A Jimmy John's opened up about a block away from my house! AIDStastic!

Lunch:
Jimmy John's sandwich-"Vito" w/hot peppers
chips (Lays wavy)
(2) glasses, Coke-16 oz.

Supper:
(1) hamburger
(1) polish sausage
fruit salad

Misc:
(8) Tums
(10ish?) beers
(2) margaritas
(2) scotch on the rocks, approx 8 oz. each
(1) line, cocaine

Scott sent me a link to this:
http://www.josepino.com/real_meal/index.pl

I think we could almost do this with the AIDS blog, although instead of grading food by size and presentation, etc., we should use our bowel movements as the barometer. Hell, I think we could almost do it just based on time from mouth to toilet. KFC ranks very highly, as I know of a few times that I had to run home immediately after eating the thigh and leg meal.

This could even work with other varieties of AIDS...For instance, cocaine. I wouldn't really know, but I've heard things.

Or beer, though the bowel movement shall be judged on color and consistency.

Breakfast:
--(1) can of caffeine free coke
--(1) egg mcmuffin
--(1) hash brown
--(1) large coke

Snack:
--(.5) large coke

Lunch:
--(1/3) double cheesburger (mcdonalds)
--(4) quasadilla triangles (+ sour cream and pico de guello)
--(1) glass of water

Dinner:
--(1) chicken breast
--(1 cup) noodles with white sauce
--(1 piece) birthday cake
--(1) glass of milk

Breakfast:
(1) bottle, Mountain Dew, 20 oz.

Lunch:
(1) bottle, Dr. Pepper, 32 oz.
(1) Whatchamacalit candy bar

Supper:
(1) Cheeseburger, 1/2 lb., w/swiss cheese
french fries

Misc:
(8) cans, Old Style beer
(9) tums
(15) ibuprofen (generic)

It was a migraine night.

Lunch:
(1) Mountain Dew, 1 liter bottle

Supper:
Philly cheesesteak sandwich-no onions
french fries

Misc:
(3) Tums
(6) cans, Old Style beer

My tummy is doing funny things right now.

>Breakfast:
(1) pop tart, apple strudle flavored
(2) cups of coffee, black

>Lunch:
(1) diet coke
(1) onion soup with lots and lots of cheese and crutons

>Snack:
(1) Sun-Maid mini packet of raisins
(1) mini Babe Ruth candy bar
(1) mini Kit Kat bar

>Dinner:
Red Curry (Thai Village)

>Misc:
(1) Bud Light (blahhhhhh)
(2) Camel lights

Breakfast:
--McDonalds
----(1) Egg McMuffin
----(1) Hash Brown
----(1) Large coke

Lunch:
--Wendy's
------(1) Spicy Chicken Sandwich
------(.5) Large Coke

Dinner:
--(.5) Bread bowl with tomato basil soup
--(1.5) glass of water
--(1) slice of bruscetta

Snack:
--(1.5) Large Coke
--(3) mini butterfingers

The, I love you with my entire heart (and all of the surrounding clogged arteries) for starting this weblog.

My story is a simple one. I fucking love McDonalds. And now I work in an office building that has one in the basement. What used to be destination dining is now calling to me all day, every day. In addition to this, the company I work for provides a lot of free snack foods. So I pretty much eat all day long. Almost everything I eat falls into one of three categories (1) the fried category, (2) the melted cheese category, or (3) the refined sugar category. I also drink too much, and I smoke. I've exercised once in the past two years. I have not yet ballooned into a fat load because I often forget to eat dinner due to excessive alcohol consumption. This horrible habit is saving me from getting fat, but it's killing my brain and most of my other internal organs with frightening efficiency.

So far for today:

> Breakfast:
(1) Pop-Tart (apple strudel flavor)
(3) Cups of coffee (2 black, one with splenda)

> Lunch:
(1) cold-busters flavor jamba juice (small)
(1) package of Kraft-brand cheese and peanut butter crackers

> Dinner:
red curry from penny's

> Misc:
(6) Camel light cigarettes
(1/2) glass of gross, cheap chardonnay
(1) miller lite

Today's food:

Breakfast:
--(1) chicken biscuit (chick-fil-a)
--(1) Large coke

Lunch:
--(1) Large Coke (mcdonalds)

Dinner:
--Butter chicken, tikka masala (indian restaurant)
--rice
--(4) Glass of pepsi

Misc:
--beef jerky
--orange juice

Lunch:
tater tots
(1) can, Bush's baked beans
(2) 16 oz. glasses of Gatorade, lemon-lime flavor

Snack:
Kellogg's Corn Pops, approx. 3 cups

Supper:
(4) slices, Domino's pizza, pepperoni and mushroom

Misc:
(9) ibuprofen-generic
(8) Tums-regular strength
(8) cans, Old Style beer

Here is my food log for yesterday:
Breakfast:
--(1) Egg McMuffin (mcdonald's)
--(1) Has Brown (McDonald's)
--(1 Large Coke (mcDonald's)

Lunch:
--(1.5) Glass of water (gross!)
--(1) Medium Coke (mcdonald's)

Snack:
--(1) Medium Coke (chick fil a)

Dinner:
--(2.5) piece fried chicken (popeyes)
--(1) biscuit w/ Honey (popeyes)
--(1) Large coke

Snack:
--(2) can of coke
--(1) bottle water (gross!)

Fun note--That's half the coke I usually drink in a day!

Really quickly, I'd like to introduce myself: My name is Mary Jones, and I've been eating poison since...well, as far back as I can remember, really.

My mother told me the dispiriting story of how she gave up on providing me with proper eating habits. Up to the age of say, 2, she (a hippie, as she was) fed me granolas, unsweetened yogurts, organic baby food, carrots, etc. My father gave me a Dorito one day, and I latched onto the bag as if it were full of sweet, delicious crack. And it was. My mother, abhorred that my father undermined her authority, gave up, and I've pretty much eaten whatever I wanted whenever I wanted since then.

Around 14 I swapped water for soda. I have been drinking coke in lieu of water ever since. Sure, sometimes I'll switch to diet, but I never drink water recreationally. I have fast food for at least 2 of my three meals a day, and I never eat a salad unless it's an occasion.

At the moment, I'm trying to lose weight for New York. But all this means is I eat less garbage then normal, not better quality food. I am Mary Jones. I am killing myself. I am loving every minute of it

Lunch:
tater tots
(1) can Bush's baked beans
(2) glasses, Gatorade, 16 oz. (lemon-lime flavor)

Snack 1:
(1) Quaker Oats granola bar (chocolate chip flavor)
(1) glass, Gatorade, 16 oz. (lemon-lime flavor)

Supper:
peanut butter sandwich

Misc:
(1) can, Old Style beer
(1) bottle, Old Style beer
(6, or 7, or 8) mugs, Miller Genuine Draft beer (I don't know how much, I wasn't buying)

Snack 2:
peanut butter sandwich