The AIDS Blog

My name is Lakshmi. according to various friends/boyfriends, i have an "eating disorder." my former therapist said i have "a poor relationship food," ie, i have a problem with taking care of myself (although i have no problem taking care of others). it's true, i eat very very little. but it's not because i have a self-image problem (hell, i like my body) or because i'm a control freak (i gave up on having control over anything a long, long time ago).

it's that i'm fucking lazy. for example. there will be cheese and bread in my old apartment. so i think, hey, i'll make some grilled cheese. then i realize that i would have to heat the pan, melt some butter on it, put the bread and cheese on, turn it off at that crucial moment when the cheese melts but before the toast burns... it's a hassle. so i end up eating Kraft singles instead. or just the plain bread by itself. or not at all.

i should also add that i am a heavy smoker and moderate drinker.

morning:

(1) small Dunkin' Donuts coffee with cream and sugar
(1) glazed Donut
(4) cigarettes

afternoon:

(4) cigarettes

evening:

(1) half cup of black bean soup
(4) cigarettes

anyway, now i'm home in Boston for about a month and a half before moving to Philadelphia. my future entries will be about overeating. but i wanted to post the above as a monument to my former, college self. if only this blog had existed earlier.